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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?